Can She SAY That?

I Can't Hear You!

2010-06-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

OK, so I asked our Father if He could hear me last time I was here. In the weeks that followed, I've realized that it's not His hearing that's the problem. It's mine.

All I want to hear is that it's going to be OK.

I just want to hear that the pain, concern and struggle will stop NOW.

Can I get a "The storm is over now," in my life?

That's not what I'm getting. I'm getting all these encouraging messages that stoke my fire to fight through the hard times:

"Get ready to rumble!"

"My kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force."

"The race is not given to the swift or the strong, but to those who endure until the end."

"Without faith it is impossible to please me, for I am, and I am a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

Ummm...that ain't what I'm trying to hear. That's not what I want to hear. I want to hear that I can curl up somewhere in a corner, take a nap, and when I wake up, everything will be all right. But You...You're telling me to fight. And I'm coachable. I've been in the boxing ring before. Right now, I'm tired, and I don't want to fight anymore.

So Your words go in one ear and out the other. I'd rather just lash out in anger at my family...myself. It's easier to throw a temper tantrum and start needless fights instead of putting my dukes up and fighting the good fight. I've been fighting that one for years, and I feel like I'm losing. I feel like it's pointless.

Yet You won't let me give up on myself. Sorry, God...I've already done that. And somehow, You managed to trump even that act of defiance. I gave up on my husband, my family, myself. They've all failed me, and continue to do so. That's my criteria for throwing my hands up in defeat.

I tried to give up on You...but that just ain't working too well for me. I can't find a charge to blame You for. I tried to find an area where You didn't help me work everything out for the good, and as much as I rack my brains thinking about the trouble I've encountered, I can't find ONE INSTANCE where you failed me or turned your back on me when I needed you the most.

In fact, I've been telling You to leave me alone and forget about me lately...and yet You're still there. Your Words go in one ear and out the other, but You haven't stopped talking yet! You know I'm not trying to hear what You have to say, but for some reason, You keep saying it. I have the sneaking suspicion that You will do so until I willingly "get" it.

So as much as I plug my ears up and yell at the top of my lungs, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!" I want to thank You for whispering anyway. Eventually my temper tantrum will end, and when it does, the whispers You gave me in this night time season will strengthen me to endure.

I don't want to hear You. I don't want You to be so easy to love. I don't want You to be so hard for me to give up on. But You love me in spite of me. All up in my face with it, getting a kick out of whispering Your sweet somethings in the ears of my heart.

I hear You, Lord. There's no sense in fighting You any longer.

Father Can You Hear Me?

2010-05-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

What happens when the encourager needs to be encouraged. What happens when all that has been shared from a personal place in wisdom, compassion, love and patience is not enough for the one whose sole purpose is to encourage others?

God, I've nothing left to give. Like the heroin addict who wanted to quit, but didn't have the strength to in this video (the woman who entered the church a la "The Color Purple" towards the end of the scene), I'm here...just as I am, in need of the blood of the Lamb.

But my heart and soul don't say YES. This transition makes me feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions, and none of them have happy endings. On one hand, I feel like driving my truck into a tree (don't judge me...I deal with unreasonable thoughts just like you...I just give them to God when they become overwhelming...I know a permanent solution to a temporary problem is not the way to go). On the other hand, I feel like telling you, God, to remove the anchor that keeps me from losing my mind. Maybe medication and an insane asylum can help me better than You can.

Father, can You hear me? You have helped me keep my mind so many times when I wanted to lose it, but it's obvious I need more than that. I need more than a "Yes, Lord," and a praise to accompany it. That's just not working for me right now.

What happens when all You have taught me to lean on when I feel like this just doesn't work? What happens when I'm too scared to take the next step, but too trapped NOT to? What happens when I feel like I'm being attacked and FAILING from the north, south, east and west?

Certainly not a pity party. Certainly not complaining. Certainly not taking my frustrations out on my loved ones. I tried that, too...and it didn't work. Certainly not suicide...I'm not about to go through all this crap down here and not make good on my reservation up there with You.

What happens when I can't trust myself, my husband or anyone else?

I guess I'll just do the only thing that has never steered me wrong. I guess I'll continue to trust You.

I know You can hear me. You've never let me down in the past. Please, God. I'm following You and Your Words...don't let me down.

Take Off The Mask!

2010-04-01T08:00:00.001-07:00

"It's like we get better at playing a role, but we don't really get BETTER." ~ Simon Flake

Will the real "me" please stand up? In spite of the fear of rejection or ridicule, can I be bold enough to just be ME...no gimmicks, no stunts, no statements that assert my originality. Can I just be ME without a mask of feigned happiness or joy. Can I be ME without the expectation of sweetness?

Here's the thing: I really am happy and full of joy. I really am a sweet person. But if I have a difficult day, it's just that. I shouldn't make myself play a role just to fit within someone else's preconceived notions about me.

The only standard I'm trying to fit into is the standard of Christ. Please don't misread this: I'm not trying to fit into a standard of denomination or one particular church body. I just want to be like Christ. PERIOD.

Galatians 6:15 (the Message Version) says, "Because of [the] Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate."

This scripture effectively removed from my face the masks that were stifling me; the masks I was lost in because I couldn't remember which "me" I was supposed to be within the various settings and circumstances I found myself in. I had to be a certain "me" with mama and family, another "me" at work, and yet another "me" with my husband and sons. The beat goes on, but I'm marching to the one of the only Drummer Who knows me better than I know myself.

I am no longer lost in a masquerade, accepting Oscar after Oscar for perfecting the roles and labels I was given since the day of my birth. All that has now been removed, and I'm free to just be...

ME.

Introduce Yourself to Yourself!

2010-03-07T15:17:00.000-08:00

"'One of the greatest moments in anybody's developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is.' ~ Norman Vincent Peale"

Why are you hiding from yourself? Who you REALLY are, the greatness and vast beauty that dwells within you? Is it the bills? The heartbreak you suffered years ago? It really doesn't matter what your past failures or foibles were...unless you allow them to dictate, define and determine your future!

As long as there is still breath in your lungs, you have a chance to fulfill the awesome purpose you were created for! The universe awaits your introduction, but you must believe that greatness is within you in order to make an impact, no matter how small or large.

Today, I want to challenge all of you to pursue getting to know yourself in a deep, intimate way. If you have wild dreams, keep them up in the clouds, then, like Thoreau said, build the foundations underneath them to bring them into reality. I once heard a song say that "nothing comes from dreamers but dreams." Well, I beg to differ. Dreamers bring liberty, compassion, music, humor and love to the table...as long as they know who they are and don't get lost in the vicious cycle of doubt.

Are YOU a dreamer? Introduce yourself to your dream and don't let it go until it becomes reality!

"You Are," From My First Book, "Who Are You?"

2010-03-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

Here is a video depicting some of the images that were going through my mind when I wrote the poem "You Are" for my book. I hope you enjoy!

My favorite line: "And when it wasn't enough to give seed to the sower, You made Yourself lower than the angels You created!

Let me know what you think!

Patricia Adams Radio Show!

2010-02-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday, I was honored with being able to co-host a blogtalkradio show with none other than Patricia Adams at One Heart Series!

You can listen to the show from the gadget on the left. I did a few spoken word pieces on the show as well. They start at the 1:16:03 mark!

Paradise

2010-01-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves--regret for the past and fear of the future." Fulton Oursler

I am a believer in Jesus Christ. He called me to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Him. Somewhere along the way, though, I realized that following Him would lead straight to Golgotha. Following Him not only meant sharing in all His glory and strength, but also sharing in His suffering. That cross He told me to take up would cause me to follow Him all the way to my own crucifixion!

So here I hang...being ridiculed by the very people I helped in the past; being spit at and having my identity challenged by individuals who never truly knew the REAL me. All some wanted were the fish and loaves, but this cross was designed to kill within me the need to impress others with my prowess.

I look to my left, and there hangs the past, spitting and hurling insults at me. Throwing in my face every mistake, regret, sin and sorrow I ever encountered. I look to my right, and there hangs my future...it ain't looking good for the home team.

There's nothing I can do about the past, but the future looks at me and begins to tell me who I am. I'm no better than either of them, but for some reason, the future begins to tell me how much she believes in me. She tells me, through gasps of excruciating pain, that I HAVE trusted the Lord, and the desires He planted within my heart WILL come to pass!

"But I'm hanging here DYING!" I say to the future.

"Shut up and put us out of our misery," shouts my past through bitter agony and shameful defeat.

"Whether we live or die, girl, don't forget who you are!" shouts the future with all her might and all the energy she has left to spare.

I begin to understand that this cross, this crucifixion is not designed to put an end to me. Only the past is hanging up to die without ever coming back. But I see now that this cross was designed to introduce me to my future.

So I'm looking at her, and in spite of the blood, sweat and tears, in spite of the ridicule and misunderstandings, in spite of the betrayal, she looks BRIGHT! And I now know I'm not forsaken.

I'm about to die...it's all part of the divine plan. The past successes, failures, heartbreaks and mistakes cannot come with me on this trip. But I'm about to breathe my last before breaking forth into a new dawn and a new day.

The most profound last words utter from my lips, as I put death on pause to communicate with my future:

"TODAY, you shall be with me in paradise!"

Waiting to Exhale

2010-01-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

"How long should you try? Until." ~ Jim Rohn

Until (conjunction): Up to the time that; up to such time as. ~ Merriam-Webster.com

Sometimes I get tired of waiting. I get tired of my expectations going unfulfilled. Yet there is a Spirit within me that refuses to give up hope. The Lord always finds a way to speak to me just before I stop believing.

He takes my eyes off the circumstances at hand, gives me a corneal implant so I can see things from His point of view. From WAY down it the holes I sometimes create for myself to WAY up in eternity, where worries, doubts and regrets cannot dwell.

In eternity, the oxygen is thin, but the law of gravity does not exist, either. What goes up in pray STAYS up until divine help and assistance forces the answers back down to the atmosphere so I can breathe again. The problem many people have is they QUIT when they cannot breathe as opposed to holding their breath just a little while longer until the help comes.

The ironic thing is, when I'm up there where God is, looking at the struggle way down here, I suffer some sort of encephelopathy (a disorder that results from a lack of oxygen to parts of the brain). I literally lose the part of my mind that would dare to worry, doubt, fret and be vexed. Yet God always implants more of Himself to the parts that go missing during my journey.

How long should I hold my breath while viewing my life from eternity?

Until...

I...

can...

EXHALE.

What's Your Size?

2010-01-10T01:47:00.000-08:00

"You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us." ~ Norman Rockefeller

Between the ages of 9 to 10, I grew over seven inches in height. I would come home from school with pants on that fit, do my homework, help fix dinner, go out to play if it was still light outside, and then come back in, undress, take a shower and go to bed. If I tried the same pants on the next day, they would be too small. I literally outgrew sizes overnight, and it drove both my parents and I crazy!

It's funny how I see my current situation and circumstances just like those clothes that I outgrew so often as a child. What do I look like in wintertime trying to wear cut off jeans? That's some foolishness! I've outgrown these circumstances, and as much as I would like to play small because I'm in a comfort zone, it's time to give it up and go forth into new horizons. I need to be in a place I can grow into.

I'm not talking about a geographical area here, nor am I dealing with relationships, careers or any other tangible thing. There is a function within all of us that yearns not only to dream, but to take action to make those dreams come true. Our dreams are supposed to be larger than life, because God's glory can only fit within the limitless boundaries of a heart willing to go forth and do the impossible.

How do we manifest the glory that God deposited within us as He intricately wove our souls together within the wombs of our mothers?

We LISTEN to the small voice inside us saying, "Go forth and do great things."

We IGNORE the loud voice inside us saying, "That's impossible!"

We SEEK GOD about the next step.

We TREAD into what Maya Angelou called "the unknown, but longed for still."

There's room for everyone where greatness is. The sky is a much too low limit to strive for. Let's affect the universe with the sizes of our dreams!

Hairston Manifesto

2010-01-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. The most important thing is changing what you demand of yourself. Write down all the things you will no longer accept in your life, all the things you will no longer tolerate, and all the things that you aspire to becoming.” ~ Anthony Robbins

"Manifesto: noun: A written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer." http://www.merriam-webster.com/

Hear ye, hear ye! The personality of Harriet R. Hairston will be making the following adjustments to bring forth the true beauty and brilliance it possesses! All changes are irrevocable and final, and are open to observation, but not to debate!

First, this personality will raise its standards and demands of itself:

It will no longer justify or excuse giving less than what it was created to. Anything less than 100% effort on any project, vision, valued relationship or assignment is unacceptable!

It will no longer write a vision without an action plan.

Every goal it sets for itself will be fulfilled by concrete and measured steps towards the end result.

Second, this personality will no longer accept the following in its life:

Drama! This personality has always been allergic to it, but will speak out all the more when others misinterpret her listening, compassionate ears for a garbage dump of gossip, assumptions, curses and lies.

Mistaking humility for low self-esteem. No longer will this large personality attempt to shrink in order to make others feel good about themselves. We were all created in the image of God, and my greatness does not detract from the greatness of others.

Third, this personality will no longer tolerate the following in its life:

Leaning on its own understanding without seeking the Lord and wise counsel for wisdom.

Making God a last resort after all other attempts and resources have been exhausted.

Finally, this personality aspires to become:

All God said she would be both internally and externally!

A woman after God's heart that seeks to please Him in all her ways!

A mother whose children will arise and call her blessed!

A wife whose husband's heart safely trusts in her!

A published author and editing/publishing business owner!

A woman with multiple streams of income who is debt free and uses her money for a mission and prosperity for a purpose bigger than her very personality!

Any resistance to this manifesto will be met with compassion and kindness, but also a quick cutting of ties to ensure forward movement and momentum is maintained. Thank you for your cooperation, understanding and love!

In Transition

2009-12-28T11:28:00.000-08:00

"Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives." ~ William Throsby Bridges

Disenchantment: The state of being freed from illusion. ~ Merriam Webster Dictionary

Much has changed in the past few months. My family and I are in the process of relocating, jobs have shifted, schools have transferred, friendships have both begun and ended. However, the one thing that I am grateful for is the grace to remove rose colored glasses about our circumstances and look at them free from illusion.

Some people I thought would never change took a turn for the negative. Perhaps, though, they were always like that, and I was looking at them through the lens of illusion. Some people that I couldn't trust as far as I could throw them turned out to be dependable and honest. Perhaps they were always that way, and I never took the time out to see them through God's eyes.

Either way, things have changed, and ironically enough, both minor disappointment and major shock has accompanied this time of transition in our lives. This journey has taught me quite a bit. The main thing I've learned is how much more I still have to learn. God reveals it all in His timing, though. That is the one unchangeable, immutable thing I can count on.

Working...Dreaming...Working...Dreaming

2009-12-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

"There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Go into the third category because there's virtually no competition." ~ Steven J Ross

My husband and I were talking this morning, and I was telling him how much my parents encouraged me when I was younger. They weren't perfect, but they did more than the best they could for my sake.

However, one thing I want to do differently in my parenting practice is teach a balance between hard work and being a dreamer. My parents taught me how to do well both in and under authority. I want to teach my sons how to do the same, but I want to add that they should always pursue their dreams. If God gave them any kind of dream, then they should focus their energies on bringing those dreams to fruition...it will teach them the values of setting goals and refusing to settle until those goals are reached.

As I graduate beyond the attitude that settles within the status quo of having a decent job, I want to ensure my children never fall into that trap. If they have to start out flipping burgers or typing in a cubicle, that's fine. But eventually, what I've instilled within them will overshadow their 9 to 5's and propel them to greatness!

The Humble Shall Speak...

2009-11-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

“Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance." ~ Og Mandino

There's a missing link somewhere between learning confidence and consciousness. If I'm self-confident, it's quite possible that I can see others and think I'm better than them. If I'm self-conscious, it's quite possible that I can see others and think they're better than me. Either way, there is too much of an imbalance. The only way the swing of my pendulum finally balanced itself out to perfect calm was the introduction of the X Factor into my life.

That X-Factor--or should I say, Cross Factor--was turning my life over to the only One Who has always maintained perfect control. I met Jesus on the floor of my dorm room, crying my eyes out. I thought I'd met Him in church, but there was too much formality for me to get to Him. I thought I'd met Him at the volleyball championship game where I played my heart out but we still lost...but even though He was there, I got angry at Him because I didn't win. I thought I'd met Him at military training, but I think it was only in passing...everyone meets Jesus either at basic training or in prison. LOL But when I met Him for real on a personal level, I began to see that the X-Factor was really HIS type of Humility!

So if I have God-Confidence, I know that regardless of the situation or circumstance, as long as He is guiding me, I can't go wrong. Even in the darkness, His Words gently whisper in my ear about who He created me to be. You mean to tell me that in the midst of all this debt, I still have the potential to be an investor and not a consumer? You said it, and I know You can't lie! Let's make it happen!

If I'm God-Conscious, I can look at others and see beyond where they are right now. I can see them in the future where they look much better than they look now. I can see beyond the sprouts budding now, but the trees and forests they are about to become!

So like Og Mandino, I guard myself not only against false pride, but false humility. The next time I'm tempted to belittle myself to make someone else look big, I need to think about the force of that water saturating everything that it comes in contact with and remember that if God created me, it's possible that greatness is inevitable if I lean the totality of who I am upon the vastness of Who He is.

Then the humble shall truly speak of Him and be glad that they no longer have to pretend that they are not who God says they are.

Someone pass me a microphone...I've got something to say.

Believe it to See it!

2009-11-03T07:55:00.000-08:00

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." ~ Robert Hodgson

When I started writing my book, I knew that I was going to get it published....I just didn't know when. I'm not a procrastinator, I just didn't think it would be something more people would be interested in. If I don't believe in my own product, how in the world am I supposed to get someone else to buy into it?

So one year passed by, two years. I picked the book up and began making moves. I sent it to an editor, I got a copyright, I put some money aside to order my own copies.

Then gas hit $5.00/gallon, and recession was upon us. I know so many spiritual circles who say recession should not affect Christians. Well, I'm saved, and recession was knocking at my front door every time I made a move! Thank God, we made it, but the book sat on the shelf, languishing...a virtual gold mine was within its pages, but I didn't think it was important enough to pursue.

Finally, one day, I picked the book up and read one of the chapters that I myself had written. That very chapter spoke volumes to me about how important it was for me to finish this project and allow others to read it. Amazing...the words I wrote to encourage others ended up encouraging and lighting a fire under me.

At that point I finally realized I had something special on my hands, and I worked hard to finish it and present it to YOU!

You can purchase a copy of my book, "Who Are You," at https://www.createspace.com/3430012. I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

Unacceptable

2009-10-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

"If you can accept losing, you can't win." ~ Vince Lombardi

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." ~ Bill Cosby

There are some things that are unacceptable to me. I have a hard time watching some of my other married friends succumb to allowing their marriages to fall by the wayside through selfishness, adultery or "growing apart." I love to see my friends pressing towards their purpose and doing whatever it takes to elevate their current circumstances. I pray fervently for those connected to me to be well and continue to prosper in the Lord.

Isn't it funny how I can have that kind of faith for others, but can't translate that faith to myself? Maybe I'm the only one...I don't know. I didn't think I was afraid of success until I started going beyond my 9 to 5 job to seek out my own path. Using my unique talents and capabilities never caused me to doubt myself until I started listening to that still small voice that wanted me to test the waters.

Speaking of voices, it would seem that I have God in one ear, and the devil incarnate trying to scream over Him. Maybe I'm just blaming the devil and refusing to acknowledge that the negative voice is actually my own. That actually sounds more accurate.

But God says that what I write matters. He told me that it will change the lives of men and women around the world. I want to believe, but my eyes see how no one ever comments on my articles, and the response I got from sending my book out to a target audience (trust me...it wasn't pretty). Then my mouth, instead of agreeing with God, starts investing into the stock of fear, which has paralyzed me in the past.

I'm just being real here. God told me I have greatness inside me, and it's time to go ahead and let it on out. Yet when I take a step, apprehension bombards my mind. Things have changed little by little, though. Instead of losing ground, I stand my ground with every baby step I take. Instead of worrying about what I cannot control, I celebrate every small goal I complete towards making the dreams God gave me come true.

Losing is no longer something I'm going to settle for. And in the past few days, I have decided that I want God's will for my life more than I am afraid of the responsibility that comes with that package. Fear and defeat are no longer options in my book. I'm going for the gusto, and TRUST ME...I will be victorious.

Anything less would be unacceptable.

Wonderland

2009-10-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

"Only those who look with the eyes of children can lose themselves in the object of their wonder." ~ Eberhard Arnold

My son learns a lesson with every step he takes. His three year old mind is a sponge longing to be saturated with awe and wonder at the way things are put together (and--conversely--how they are taken apart).

Oh, that my eyes could see the glory of the wonder and curiosity within the heart of a child. I would persist when the world or my circumstances told me "no" time and time again. I would fight with all that is in me to stay awake for fear of missing something grand. I would shriek in delight at the newness of what adults would deem mundane (my son has a thing for the empty paper towel rolls). I would lose myself in my own symphony, and upon every stumble, I would arise and dance even harder!

Being an adult is a good thing, but the faith, imagination and awe of a young child is what GREATNESS is made of. My prayer is to match my adult attention span to the awe and even mischievousness of a child. My vision and imagination would expand, and as a result, NOTHING would be impossible for me.

I think my son is onto something...

Guest Post: Signs

2009-10-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Roland Moore of Shreveport, LA who wrote today's blog post as my guest. Enjoy and be blessed!

It seems to me that everyone loves signs. A sign--like a picture--is worth a thousand words. Signs also say to the world "Hey this is what I belong too, I'm a part of this, I represent this, this is who I am." I believe a lot of people enjoy signs because they can be identified with a group or something bigger than them.

We love reading, recognizing, and--in the urban vernacular--"throwing them up." Whether we're chunking up the deuces (or the old fashioned peace sign) or even acknowledging someone with a subtle head nod, the signs are everywhere!

At times, these symbols of solidarity seem to drive the "older" generation crazy. I can hear one of them saying now, "Boy what's that mean?" like they don't know (insert a non-verbal sign of rolled eyes here).

Some signs symbolize gangs, schools, neighborhoods, regions, fraternities, sororities...I could go on and on. With that being said why don't Christians have or "throw up" signs so that they can be recognized?

I mean sure...we have our fair share of bumper stickers, t-shirts, Jesus plates with the clever fish hidden in them, etc. We've even had the WWJD wrist bands that blew up in the 90's. But why don't we have a sign?

Well actually we do. We have the most identifiable, real, genuine, and giving sign of all: LOVE. Jesus said Himself (and I'm paraphrasing, of course) that we should love one another like He loves us and by this ALL will know that we are His. That was in John 13:34-35 but ALL throughout this book of a love story that is called the Bible we are taught love, how to love, and whom we should love.

Here's a little quiet hint as to whom we should love....EVERYONE. And when we show that sign, THEN all will recognize what we're a part of, Who we belong to and what we represent. Some signs or words seem to just jump off the billboards and right into our hearts or very souls. They give us a warm fuzzy feeling like hot chocolate on a winter day.

Leave it up to God to equip us with a sign that when we throw it up, it not only represents what we claim/profess but also changes the very lives of the people who see--better yet, experience--it.

I've got nothing but love for you and anyone else who reads this. And I only love because God first loved me and accepted me into His family.

Glory to God. Put a high five and shoot the deuces on THAT.

I Am Who I Am

2009-10-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

"It's a trip when people who think outside the box are stuck in a different box." ~ Camara Fontenot

"Am I growing in God or am I fooling myself?" ~ Christina Robinson

Lately, I've been thinking about how I've never fit into any type of niche. When I was in high school, I was always the one who didn't quite fit in all the way. It didn't matter if I was playing a sport or debating a point, I have always been DIFFERENT.

Years ago, I tried to make up for this fact by trying my best to fit in. If my basketball team was rough, I was rough. If my debate team was polite, I was polite. If my ROTC unit was precise, I was precise. Lucky for me, most of my influences growing up were positive ones. I won't talk about how some of my friends like to curse...so I learned how to curse like a sailor.

There came a time when trying to fit in no longer worked for me. I became a rebel to any kind of set order. I refused to fit within anyone's perception of who they thought I should be, which was a good thing. Yet on the negative side, I became difficult to work with and pretty intolerable because if things weren't done my way, then it was the highway. PERIOD. In thinking outside the boxes set up for me, I became imprisoned in my own box of trying to prove myself.

The pendulum life for me swung violently between two extremes, making me very imbalanced. There is an inherent danger in making what you do the center of your universe; the danger grows exponentially when you make YOURSELF the center of your own universe. That's a responsibility that only God has the cajones to shoulder.

Now that I'm a little wiser, I've learned that boxes are overrated. I weigh myself against the standard of Christ. He's higher, stronger, wiser, more compassionate and loving than I'll ever be, but He always gives me the desire to strive to become just like Him. Now I am who I am, not because of someone else's definition or my own pride, but by the grace and power He invested in me.

I love the fact that He's a wise investor. He won't deposit something without expecting an increase later. My mind is wrapped up in becoming who He created me to be.

...and He doesn't believe in boxes.

The G.O.A.T.

2009-10-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind full of low emotions and heated arguments. And for what? I've seen God activate the IMPOSSIBLE in my life time and time again. Yet when something comes up that's not within my sphere of "control," or deals with the mistakes of others that have a detrimental effect on me, I get all unglued. I get nasty. Downright emotional.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. Times like this remind me of the GREATNESS of God! He always manages to make a way where there really is NO WAY. He is the undisputed heavyweight Champion of the world--the G. O. A. T.

For those of you who don't know what that means, let me say this. I am the poster child...the matted and framed picture of a person for whom God does not come when I want Him to, but He always comes on time! Not only is He the GREATEST OF ALL TIME (G.O.A.T), but He's also the eternal, immortal, invincible, unchangeable, immutable, indescribable, unforgettable GOD!

My godly self had to tell my emotional self about herself. "Girl, get it together! You'd better RECOGNIZE just Who it is you're dealing with! You know Him! He's the G.O.A.T."

Indeed...He was yesterday, when I needed Him. He IS today, when He came through for me. And He will be tomorrow. Come hell or high water, HE IS.

Walk it Out

2009-10-15T05:02:00.000-07:00

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living." ~ Anais Nin

I've got to take the next step, but it seems like under my feet there is nothing to step onto. My mind of faith finds it exhilarating, but my analytical mind is frightened beyond compare. Yet in order to bring my dream to fruition, forward momentum must take place. I can't stay stuck here in the make believe land of security and comfort.

Oh, I tried to settle down and tell myself, "You've gone far enough. Girl, you've achieved more than the average person!" But there is a Spirit within me that is literally killing that thought process word by word. It's not torturous, but with each vision and dream I am given, I know I must keep moving forward to fulfill it.

I have a whole lot more to do and dream and do and dream...because staying still and reclining on the familiar is not only boring, but it will kill me.

One foot in front of another, now. Here I go! Hope to see you along the road.

The Choice is Yours

2009-10-07T07:10:00.001-07:00

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." ~ Wayne Dyer

So...it's been a while since I wrote in this space. There is so much transition going on in my life, and I'm just riding the wave. I can't do anything else, because it's all out of my control. I've done all I can do, and now the end results are in the hands of the Lord.

Here's the deal, though. I'm not cowered in some corner, begging life to stop making the room spin. No matter how much my equilibrium is being disturbed, I know once the dust settles, I'll be right where I need to be, not staggering, but STANDING.

I'm excited about what the NEAR future holds for me. I choose to remain motivated! What about you?

Fake or For Real

2009-08-20T07:39:00.000-07:00

"A forged painting, which is 1,000 years old, is still a fake today! Wrong stays wrong forever." ~ Reinhard Bonnke

There was a time in my life when everything was off balance inwardly, but outwardly, I was a successful woman, able to fool anyone who didn't spend a prolonged amount of time with me into thinking I had it all together.

Eventually I got to the point where I could look at myself in the mirror and not know the person looking back at me. Something had to change! I had to get my mind right! I didn't want to be a forgery of a person, taking a little technique from one person or another that I admired, and not knowing who I really was.

Here's the thing: imitation is NOT the highest form of flattery...unless Jesus is the one I'm trying to imitate. I'm no good trying to be anyone else but Harriet Hairston. A forgery, no matter how old, mature or wise they get, is still wrong.

How do ensure you remain genuine to what you believe and who you are throughout the course of your life?

Fly Higher

2009-08-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become." ~ Anonymous

Some huge things are taking place in my life right now. The amazing thing about them is the fact that I placed an expectation on my atmosphere to change. I know that sounds like a whole bunch of psycho mumbo-jumbo, but allow me to explain before you write me off.

Within my immediate surroundings, I choose to be a thermostat instead of a thermometer. Therefore, instead of my circumstances and surroundings affecting me, I choose to be the force that affects them. A thermostat, depending on its setting, will either raise or its own temperature until the outward circumstances reflect what it is set to. It is a catalyst and a incubus of change.

I said that to say this: the words we speak are seeds that open up dialog with our atmospheres to bring about the outward circumstances of our lives. The investment we make with the words we speak, whether complaint or optimism, will directly affect what attracts itself to us.

For example, I'm sure the mindset of a caterpillar that realizes it is about to change could be one of two things: 1) I'll be dog! It's the end of the world! or 2) I'm about to spread my wings and fly higher when I get through this trial and cocoon experience! Obviously that's a personification, but I see those two mindsets fighting against one another in my own life. I choose to follow the "Fly Higher" point of view.

So when I say, "I placed an expectation on my atmosphere to change," I meant that I invested all my words, my prayers to the Lord, my actions and thoughts towards the fact that my life as it is right now is not a reflection of who I am to become. It is just a temporary state between my current existence and the future greatness I am destined for if I allow the Lord to continue ordering my steps and keeping me humble.

It looks like that investment is about to garner an AWESOME return! So I celebrate the possibilities of change and let go of who I was in order to become all God wants me to become. And I celebrate YOU doing the same!

How are you investing your words, thoughts and actions towards positive change?

Pillow vs. Pillar

2009-08-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

"A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on an installment plan." Martin Luther King, Jr.

In my travels and experiences, it never ceases to amaze me the lengths some people will go to ensure their mindset remains unchallenged and myopic. I used to do the same. I would get stuck on a principle that was clearly wrong, yet defend it with emotional arguments. Everything I did from that point on would be colored by the viewpoint that my first and natural assumption was the only correct one, and no matter who disagreed with me--even those with greater, more sensible arguments--was flat out WRONG. No ifs, ands or buts about it. And I'm ashamed to say that I would readily resort to cursing someone out if there was an inkling of disagrement there...a little something for the ignorant folks whose level I was quick to stoop down to.

Yet just as I learned to build my vocabulary up to find more creative ways of telling people about themselves, I also learned to broaden my horizons and listen with a keen ear to the sound and season of a matter. I released the corruption of comfort and decided instead to venture onto the road less traveled.

Who wants to come with me? Each day there are many opportunties to show forth soft or small minded ways of thought and belief, yet there are just as many (if not more) opportunities to learn from circumstances in order to transcend the difficulties of it. After all, great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss other people. I'm just not in the business of dwelling within the misconceptions, misunderstandings and preconceived assumptions of the small minded.

We were born to be strong minded pillars of society. Why settle for the layaway of what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. called "spiritual death?"

How will you elevate your mindset to press beyond assumptions and status quo? Have you tapped into your greatness yet?

Who Are You?

2009-07-31T04:26:00.000-07:00

"Originality does not consist in saying what no one else has ever said before, but in saying exactly what you think yourself." ~ James Stephens

I love the fact that I have a mind of my own. If I'm offered the kool-aid served by the media, church or amongst family and friends, I know that if I'm the one choosing the flavor. I can choose to drink or not to drink. Personally, I prefer sweet tea, thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of edible preferences, I like my chicken grilled, not fried. I like my toast slightly burnt, and before I put the butter on it, I like to let it cool down so when I bite into it, it still has a crunch (instead of letting the melted butter make my bread soggy). I'm a label whore when it comes to popcorn. The only kind I purchase is Pop Secret Homestyle so I can lick the salt off my fingers once I'm finished. And that's just the beginning of what I lick my chops over.

For example, I'm neither Republican or Democrat. Although I almost caused WWIII with my family (who raised me a Democrat), there are too many other issues that aren't addressed fully by either side for me to pick just one. I'm non-denominational in my Christian beliefs (WWIV for the daughter of a Baptist family), because I don't want to get stuck at one man's revelation without fully seeking God for what's next. He doesn't belong in a box, anyway. He sent His Son so we could be free from that kind of tyranny. Plus, researching how Jesus lived His life shows how He was a man of purpose, unfazed by the bars of popular opinion.

I'm fully aware that such a lifestyle may not be acceptable to some. When I was in the military, I tried to find the smallest things to do to my uniform to make it uniquely mine without violating regulations. I'm not a rebel without a cause...I'm a person with a sui generis, one of a kind personality. Obviously there are boundaries to ensure that I don't cross lines with anyone unnecessarily, but those boundaries are not chains...they're set up to ensure I don't let my mouth write checks that my actions cannot cash.

I love meeting people who know their identity and walk confidently in it, regardless of the backlash it may cause. If that is uniquely you, let it be known in the comments section. What makes you...YOU?

Character Building

2009-07-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

"Your character is the sum total of every decision you have ever made. There is no such thing as an unimportant decision." ~ Charisma Magazine

Life is choice driven. What kind of character building have you done lately? Are you a good judge of character?

Be Yourself!

2009-07-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

“Guard against the prestige of great names; see that your judgments are your own; and do not shrink from disagreement; no trusting without testing.” ~ John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton

More than ever before, we live in an era that seeks to feed us what to think and how to think it. From the media to the church, there are so many opinions about what should or shouldn't be done, said, pursued, etc. Don't get me wrong...it's important to seek wise counsel prior to making any kind of major decision. It's even more imperative to have a strategy, plan and goal about where you want to go with any project; if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

However, where is the originality these days? In music, I feel like I hear the same artist over and over again on the radio; they just take on a different alias with each song. In news, whatever happened to unbiased, objective reporting? Instead, all this propaganda is inserted in between the lines of the facts that I seek.

My opinion may agree with someone else's, but it's not because of the person. The only person I can think of that could change my opinion about an issue cart blanch, hands down is Jesus. He's God, so He's always right. LOL Therefore, I'm not in the practice of dropping names to make my opinion that much stronger. If it's mine, I'll stand on it and leave Mr. Obama's or Dr. God's name out of it. If I truly believe what I'm saying, there's no need for me to drop a name of prestige...who God created me to be carries enough clout and credibility to stand on its own.

How do you maintain your originality?

Don't Hate...Celebrate!

2009-07-25T18:24:00.000-07:00

"What do we lose by another’s good fortune? Let us celebrate with them, or strive to emulate them,That should be our desire and determination.” ~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

God has truly graced me, you all. He truly has. I'm not just talking about tangible areas like relationships, abilities and talents, but I'm talking about in my attitude and personality as well. I'm definitely not your run of the mill type of sister, and I thank Him for being unique and constantly introducing me to myself each day.

There are some things that don't impress me. Bank accounts, money, houses, cars, businesses, clothing...all those things are fleeting. Therefore, when I see others receiving increase in those areas, I'm not apt to get envious of those things. In fact, I start observing more, because money and all its accouterments don't make you...it only magnifies who you already are. If a person changes, they turn into who they already were as opposed to the forced humility that was upon them in their low state.

I celebrate when I see the good fortune of others, especially if they've proven to be faithful to the same things I hold dear. When good fortune comes to me (and it's coming soon), I want to be able to throw a party and invite everyone over, not to flaunt it, but to share my joy, even as I shared in the joy of others when their own good fortune came.

What about you?

A to Zee

2009-07-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance." ~Bruce Barton

Zykeya Williams-Butler (affectionately referred to as "Zee") was an exceptional young lady. Everywhere she turned, she burst through the status quo and displayed her superiority with very few words, but many deeds. First and foremost, she loved the Lord. She was definitely her daddy's little girl as well. She was a track champion, a prolific dancer and a trailblazer. As the first African-American prom queen ever to grace her high school, she earned one achievement after the other with refreshing grace and humility. And...she was a WARRIOR.

At the age of 17, just after earning the title of prom queen, she was diagnosed with a vicious and rare form of cancer. She fought her initial battle with verve and confidence, in spite of the fact that she had to re-learn how to do basic tasks like walking and eating. She came through that battle on pointed toes and extended arms, pirouetting her way through the storm.

Unfortunately, during the latter part of her freshman year of college, the cancer that had been in remission came back with force. She and her parents went from one state to another seeking out treatments that would prolong her chances of living. All the while, Zee was adamant about remaining in school and continuing her education.

One day, after completing a treatment a few hours from home, she told her grandmother that it was time for her to go back to her father and stay there for a while. She wrote out a list of people she wanted to see while she was at home. Every person on the list came to visit, and this 20 year old young lady imparted her love and drive for education within each one of them. As the last person came and went, Zee laid down to rest.

Her stepmother, a nurse, went in to check on her, and she was no longer breathing. She immediately began CPR and called Zee's father. Her father, an officer in the U.S. Army, arrived home, gently carried her to his car and drove to the hospital. Zee never regained consciousness. On July 23, 2008, she danced out of our lives and into the arms of Jesus.

Yet her zest for education lives on, and despite her tragic circumstances, she has left a legacy of untold riches to those still here. The Zykeya Williams-Butler Scholarship Fund is her lasting testament to her commitment to education. Please take some time to apply, donate or tell someone else about it. You can get further information here.

Zee, girl, I miss you. But your grade for your legacy is an "A" in my book. See you in due time!

Elevate in Spite of the Opposition

2009-07-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand." ~ Woodrow Wilson

No one was more impoverished in his mindset than former president Woodrow Wilson. When prejudice wraps itself around your thoughts and worldview like a python, it's difficult to break loose. He was the President of the United States, yet he supported the Jim Crow system of de facto (culture/attitude) and de jure (law/politics) racism that fanned the flame of one of the most dangerous eras for African-American's in history. His support of the Ku Klux Klan reaped a harvest of "strange fruit" that broke the hearts of black mothers and the back of America.

I wonder what he would say if he knew that a young African-American woman was using the words that came from his mouth to empower others in her journey towards building a legacy, not only for African-Americans, but for humanity? Would he tell me that what he said was for Whites only? Would he protest my blog and burn a cross in my backyard?

I don't know...the man is dead. But what I do know is everything God has given me the grace to battle for has come because of my decision to stand on His promise and therefore fight against every form of opposition, both from within and without.

Woodrow Wilson didn't know me; my great-grandparents were adolescents when he was in office! Yet somehow the opposition he presented to my progenitors injected a warrior ethos and solidarity within their DNA that now courses through my own veins. In that sense, the legacy they left me has given me the right to take that racist president's words and use them as stepping stones to elevate my thinking and strategic actions to leave a legacy for the descendants to come.

In what ways have you used the opposition that has come against you to elevate to another level in your own mind and actions?

My Thank You Letter

2009-07-21T11:40:00.000-07:00

"To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude." ~ Albert Schweitzer

To God:

Thank You for never giving up on me, even when I wanted to give up on myself.
Thank You for creating me to be uniquely ME, and for breaking the mold after You made me (I don't know if it's because I was THAT special, or because the world couldn't handle more than one of me, but I thank You nonetheless. LOL)
Thank You for humbling me.
Thank You for being the center of the universe...I now realize that's a job I can't handle. LOL
Thank You for showing me in both tangible and intangible ways that You ARE.

To my husband:

Thank you for loving me, even when I'm unlovable.
Thank you for all the laughter that washed away the tears.
Thank you for balancing me and being strong when I was weak.
Thank you for showing me a true example of faith in action every day.
Thank you for letting me be a mother to a son I didn't birth.
Thank you for getting me pregnant...even though that nine months was hell for you! LOL
Thanks for doing the dishes the other night! Wow! Will wonders ever cease? LOL

To my spiritual parents, Bryan and Glenda Smith:

Thank you for being the change you want to elicit in the world!
Thank you for your prayers and your time.
Thank you for showing me it is possible to raise children in the church that aren't permanently damaged by the time they grow up. LOL
Thank you for reaching the campus, the community and the cosmos with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Thank you for the family you created at CCWC and NDWC.
Thank you for not giving up on me.

To my Mama:

Thank you for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for letting go and letting me grow up.
Thank you for giving me back to the Lord.
Thank you for being an awesome Nana!
Thank you for giving me unconditional love.
Thank you for answering my rebellion with discipline and wisdom.
Thanks for Jay!!!!!!

To my older brother:

Thanks for being my partner in crime growing up! LOL
Thank you for growing up and showing me what a man was supposed to be.
Thank you for taking such good care of Moms and Grandma after Pops died.
Thank you for WAITING to get married, in spite of all of us trying to hook you up with someone. LOL
Thanks for the MUSIC that created the soundtrack of our childhood!
Thank you for being so picky when it comes to women. I know your wife is going to be AWESOME.

To my church family at CCWC and all the other places I've been to during my tenure in the military:

Thank you for showing me that a relationship with Christ is attainable.
Thank you for teaching me how to chew the meat and spit the bones out when it comes to giftings.
Thank you for showing me the difference between real and phony; church folk and disciples.
Thank you for showing me that if I can survive betrayal and hurt from those who are supposed to exemplify Christ, I can survive ANYTHING. LOL
Thank you for being the Book we study!
Thank you for the laughter and the exercise (running laps around the church ain't no joke!). LOL

To the readers:

Thank you for reading and leaving a comment about what you're thankful for!

I could go on and on...but I want to hear from you! What are you grateful for?

Acorn to Oak Tree...I want to be a Legacy!

2009-07-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

"I want to change the world for 300 years after I'm dead and gone." ~ Peter J. Daniels

This life I have been given has very little to do with me. It is a snapshot; a wrinkle in time of what is to come. Therefore, it stands to reason that if I live this life solely focused on what I can get and how I can benefit, then it will have been a waste. There is too much future within a human being to do such a thing!

I mentioned the power that lies within an acorn a few days ago; however, I would be remiss if I didn't discuss HOW the power in that acorn is activated. I found a few interesting facts about acorns on this website.

Only one in 10,000 acorns actually have a chance of becoming a tree.

Although in the forest, this is a daunting fact, in humanity, it's unacceptable! First and foremost, if you're alive, that means you're a survivor! You're the seed that made it through all the bacteria, past all the competition to get to the egg! Congratulations! You did it! That being the case, why in the world would we settle for being ordinary? We had the character to make it through the birth canal; the odds of that happening for many of us were one in 5 - 6 million!!!! We have the mind and capacity to become the trees and forests if we just tap into the correct source of motivation.

Sometimes little insects called weevils plant themselves within the shell of an acorn to prevent it from having the capacity to become a tree in the future, even if all the circumstances are right.

There are times when external circumstances try to eat the very life and destiny out of us, making us hollow and useless. Whether we endured an abusive relationship, or we're working ourselves to death at jobs that mean absolutely nothing to us, we cannot allow external weevils to burrow themselves into our psyches and spirits. The same is true internally. Sometimes we just lie to ourselves! We tell ourselves that we're not good enough; we don't have what it takes; we don't have enough money; someone else can do it better. If that were the case, then why in the world did God choose for US to make it to the egg and not one of the 5 - 6 million other sperm? Think about it! Don't allow weevils to snake their way into your space!

Sometimes the leaves from an oak tree will hide the beneficial qualities of an acorn, causing the acorn to rot and mold on what is supposed to be its life giving source.

Let's take a moment to discuss talent vs. character. Talent can be seen as the leaves, and character as the acorn. I never want my talent to take me where my character cannot keep me. Yes, I'm going to be wealthy, but not at the expense of my integrity. Yes, I'm going to be influential, but not at the sacrifice of what matters the most to me, whether it's my walk with Christ or my family.

Here's the bottom line, though. In order for the acorn to become a tree, it must be able to fall from the branches of one tree and DIE...die to impure motives, selfishness, false humility, discouragement, and whatever other poison that strips its potential to become like the very thing it drew its own life from.

That's why I choose to die daily. I choose to live this life like I'm raising my great-great-great-great grandchildren, even down to a thousand generations. Acorns are cute, but oak trees are their source. I want to develop seeds of love and righteousness that will perpetuate on this earth for years to come.

Aftermath

2009-07-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

"After crosses and losses, men grow humbler and wiser." ~ Benjamin Franklin

When I think about some of the issues I've endured over the years, it's amazing to me that I could think I was humble and wise, but then get to the other side and realize I was just the opposite. I hesitate to continue typing simply because I don't know what to say about myself that would elicit an understanding of where I'm coming from at this very moment.What does it say about me to have to endure a cycle of the same trials over and over again, but that:

God was testing and trying me;

I failed the tests and trials;

I was neither humble nor wise enough to see the err of my ways, so;

God's grace continued to test and try me until I GOT it.

And with #4, the fact that my mind generated that thought makes me question whether or not I DID get it! Who am I to say that I got it if God is the one Who is doing the testing and trying? I don't know!

What I DO know is this: I can't let my guard down and totally lose sight of how difficult the past few months have been. I need to catalog that sense of humility and the wisdom it cultivated. Why? Because I have the sneaking suspicion that things are about to explode around me in a positive way. And if I'm not careful, I'll let it go to my head, thus mentally and spiritually finding myself in a lower place than I ever could have been when my mere outward circumstances were the only challenge.

I've found that my biggest tests of humility and wisdom were not in daunting times, but when everything was going well for me. Everything is on its way to going well for me again. This time, I don't want to fail the TRUE test of remaining humble, even in prosperity.

Look Up!

2009-07-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

"God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine." ~David Nicholas

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about the darkness that has surrounded us lately. You can read all about that here. What I want to do today is just glorify God for His faithfulness and mercy! Every time I think I have Him figured out, He goes above and beyond His call of duty to show me how big, wide and deep His love for me is!

The night has surrounded me, y'all! I promise, I feel like I made my bed in hell some days. I've gone through foreclosure, depression, serious post-partum medical complications, financial failure, seeing my son almost die for lack of oxygen, betrayal, you name it! But out of all those names, ONE NAME was able to keep my family and I from falling. The Super Heavyweight Champion of the World, the unstoppable, indescribable, FAITHFUL name of Jesus Christ. I can look up and know that in the darkest of night, the stars are always in place to reflect the light of the S-O-N!

I just wanted to take the time out, Lord, to give YOU glory in the space You gave me! Happy dances all around for YOU being the King of kings and Lord of Lords! I love You!

The Seed

2009-07-12T16:45:00.000-07:00

"Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity." ~ Og Mandino

These are challenging times for everyone; the Earth itself seems like it is in the labor and delivery room enduring contractions like never before. No one is immune from the pain. From people in Iran dying on the streets for the basic freedoms people in the United States enjoy daily to the stain of racism turning away over 60 innocent children at a Philadelphia swimming club, it is so easy to fall for the trap of fatalism and discouragement.

The labor and delivery room is an ugly place...trust me, I know. They make you strip naked and then replace your comfortable clothing with half a nightgown that leaves a terrible draft on your hindparts. Some doctors require you to get an enema so when you start pushing, nothing but blood and the baby gets on them. They strap you to a monitor to measure the contractions (as if they couldn't tell the baby was knocking a pause in your ability to breathe). There is absolutely NO privacy...the doctor pokes and prods in the most secret places to ensure the baby is in the proper position to be birthed. You are not allowed to eat or drink anything, no matter how hungry and thirsty you are. Your only vestige of comfort is the bed the doctors have you on. Unfortunately, even that betrays you as it transforms into a torture device that pushes your legs straight up in the air and folds you in half to make gravity do its job. I could go on and on. It can be a nightmare!

I said all that to talk about the seed within that time of adversity. It is a seed that develops within a womb upside down and inside out. It is a seed of hope; a seed of triumph! The seed that introduces us to an entirely new future is about to burst forth in our lives! The moment we look that seed in the eye, the focus we once had upon the pain dissipates. Even as our feelings, plans, relationships and circumstances are being sewn back together in recovery, nothing else matters but pouring our love, resources, guidance and energy into that seed that is now living and breathing.

I challenge myself and all those reading to shift focus from the immense pain to the incomparable future that awaits us once all is said and done. Even as an acorn falls from a great oak tree and dies to its small form, it fails to realize that one day, if it focuses in the right direction, a forest will come forth as a result.

There are FORESTS within each of us! I choose to look through the pain to see the future within it. What about you?

Y'all Better Be Glad I'm Saved!

2009-07-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

Salvation Haiku:

They'd better be glad

I'm saved! Or else I would have

removed my earrings.

~ Harriet Hairston

I've come to learn that many people get Christianity confused with cowardice; meekness with weakness. Just this week three people offered me the distinct opportunity to smack the taste out of their mouths...but for the Holy Spirit within me, I would have. He arrests me when my fists start balling up. He becomes a filter when my thought process degenerates to a tempting desire to show how many combinations of expletives I can combine in one sentence. Inside, I'm hopping mad, but on the outside, my countenance is calm and collected.

You know what? I want to be Jesus for just ONE DAY. Let me have His power when people start mistaking my kindness for weakness! Oh...you want to take me for granted and try to run me over? Here...let me take back my oxygen for a couple of seconds! What's wrong? Why are you turning blue? Oh, you can't respond because you can't breathe? My bad!

If I had been Jesus...ooo-wee! I would have called EVERY angel to the scene of the crime. I would have done a divine bait and switch to put Judas on the cross instead of me. I don't even think I would have bothered being born. I would have just ripped my way through a cloud and stepped out on the scene! I would have bullied and judged and condemned every person that rejected me! But what would that solve?

Seriously, though, here's the thing: Jesus had more power in His eyelash than the people that orchestrated His murder on that cross. I want to give way to my anger at the smallest infraction or libel against my character. Jesus, the Son of God, was SET UP to be MURDERED...and He responded with love.

He didn't have to go through all that, but He knew if He gave back what was given to Him, crazy people like me 2009 years later wouldn't be able to blog about how they wanted to smack the taste out of someone's mouth, but the Spirit of the living God arrested them and showed them a better way.

Besides, His Word states that anger resides in the bosoms of fools. Since my mama didn't raise one, I'll continue to calm myself down and replace thoughts of assault and battery (or at least a good tongue lashing) with love, forgiveness and strength under control.

What about you? How do you control your temper? Does it always work?

Take it Personal!

2009-07-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

"I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left." ~ Margaret Thatcher

Within identities and personalities, there is bound to be disagreements and conflict. Friction focused in the right direction leaves so much room for growth and development. However, there are those who remove the constructive nature of conflict and reduce themselves to engaging in mere argument. What's the difference? It's subtle but absolutely crucial. Conflict leads to growth and resolution. Argument is void of any kind of constructive qualities.

Sometimes a discussion can start out as conflict and degenerate into an argument. At other times, it can start as an argument and graduate to becoming a conflict. Here are some warning signs that a conflict has turned into an argument:

One or both parties have lost sight of the original point of their discussion.
One or both parties resort to cursing or using expletives during the course of the conversation.
One or both parties begins to engage in a personal attack upon one another.

My mama used to tell me that it takes two fools to fight...just don't be one of them. Conflict causes iron to sharpen iron. If I'm taking things personally because my character has been attacked, then that's even better. It means the argument presented by the other side has reduced itself to NOTHING. Either way, I've made up my mind that every conflict I engage in will sharpen me more and more...even the ones that attack me personally.

Right vs. Acceptable

2009-07-08T12:31:00.001-07:00

"Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable." ~ Franz Kafka

It's difficult to be a staunch believer in absolute truth during an age of moral relativism. "What do you mean, Harriet?" Well, I'm glad you asked. In a time when society deems right as wrong and wrong as right, living right side up is now seen as upside down, and the blood is rushing to my head. Am I saying that I'm right about EVERYTHING? Heck no! But the right thing to do is admit it! :o)

I just had a disagreement with someone about marriage. They asserted that if a couple is legally separated, then each entity within that relationship is free to do whatever they wish, including engaging in a sexual relationship with another person.

I didn't even get into the weeds of the detrimental effects divorce is having upon families and thus the very culture and fabric of America; but to believe the hype that a legal separation means you a free to move about the bedrooms of lust filled individuals is not only wrong, but unacceptable. Yet we live in a society that deems this kind of behavior appropriate. There are some who would even cheer others on in their fallacious actions as if adultery and selfishness were fashionable.

I could go on and on about the absolution of truth, but the bottom line is I would rather start with what is RIGHT vs. what is ACCEPTABLE in today's society. I get emotional about it from time to time, because hell, in some countries "intergenerational relationships" (i.e. pedophilia) is acceptable! God knows it ain't right, but doing as the Romans do, many fall for the okey doke and just accept it as normal.

How is this motivational or encouraging? Well, I would like to motivate the readers to actually THINK about what they embrace as acceptable, and ask themselves if it's right. During my time in the military, I was trained that the core values we adhered to were Integrity, Service Before Self and Excellence in All We Do. I said to myself that if I ever felt I had to compromise my integrity just to serve or excel, then I would take my uniform off, never to put it on again. That's not the reason I separated from the military, but the truth of the matter is that on any given day, we will have a million offers to do just that and accept societal norms rather than actual truths.

I typically don't put more than one quote within my blogs, but this reminds me so much of a lyric from Black Star: this kind of thinking will "make you a casualty of abnormal normalities."

What kinds of issues or philosophies have you adopted that could potentially be acceptable, but not right? What are your thoughts on issues like cheating, abortion, divorce, etc.? Tell me about it!

Get in Line!

2009-07-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

"Without God, nothing can be done to its full potential." ~ Dormeka Johnson

Yesterday I posted a story to Black and Married with Kids about how we, as individuals, tend to try to take shortcuts and use what we've been divinely blessed with for the wrong reasons and motivations. I am just as much an example of that as Steve McNair was.

But...I'm still alive, thank God! I was discussing this issue with a young lady, and she made a profound statement that nothing can be done to its full potential without God.

What is the President's full potential? How much further can that trailblazer fulfill his potential with God (or more of Him)? What would happen if we all would get in line and follow the divine path of greatness God reserved for each of us?

Are you working out your full potential? I know I'm not, but this blog is definitely a start. I have officially rejected the corruption of my comfort zone by putting my thought process within a blog for all the world (eventually) to see. My friend who "donated" today's quote is going to be a neurosurgeon. I'm going to be a bestselling author, and university founder. All we have to do is stay in the line God provided for us and take one step at a time to fulfill our God given potential.

What line are you supposed to be in, and how are you taking steps (baby steps, even) to fulfill that potential with God?

Who Am I Trying to Impress?

2009-07-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

A wise old owl sat on an oak.
The more he saw, the less he spoke.
The less he spoke, the more he heard.

Why aren't we like that wise old bird?

~ Anonymous

I'm definitely a person who likes to talk; I love spoken word poetry as well as teaching. Words shape my existence. However, words have also brought me a lot of trouble. Years ago, if it came to my mind, it was coming out of my mouth, but I learned the hard way that there is a time and place for everything.

I served eight years as a military officer, and one of the most valuable lessons I learned was how to separate my emotions from whatever I was advocating. If my feelings were on my shoulder, that left too much room for me to take questions I was being asked personally. Passionate was good, but emotional was not.

Additionally, as a woman in ministry, I am often called on to teach concepts of the Bible. Great. Wonderful. Nevertheless, I've found lately that there are many who dwell on two extremes of the same spectrum: one extreme that believes what they believe, and there is no talking them out of it, whether their lifestyle is in agreement or not.

The other extreme seeks to make a person like me drunk off their praises, as if I am the one who gave myself these gifts of speech, poetry, writing and teaching. I truly believe this latter spectrum is the most dangerous. It can lead me to adopt pride as my garment instead of humility as my guard. It can cause me to get involved in conversations I have no business in, thus pimping the gift I've been given in order to glorify myself or another person.

To alleviate this issue, I've adopted the token of wisdom given by that wise old bird. Quick to listen and observe; slow to speak. I've got plenty to say, but who am I trying to impress? I'd rather not waste anymore words. No more "hit and miss" for me. I desire my words to hit their intended target and fulfill the purpose they were created for. That cannot happen if they are diluted by a whole bunch of frivolous discussions that are irrelevant to the direction God has me moving in.

What about you? How have you filtered and funneled your words/gifts/destinies to pack the most punch? Tell me about it!

Listen...

2009-07-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

"Listening to the eternal involves a silence within us." ~ Thomas Kelly

There have been times when I've slept for a full night and awakened the next morning feeling like I haven't received any rest. Worries and concerns were like weeds that choked away every nutrient the repast of sleep was supposed to give me. Although I've never been prone to insomnia, there have been times the cacophony of my inner dialog has been so loud that I arose early--at times 2 or 3 in the morning--and was unable to go back to a peaceful slumber.

In those times of restlessness I had to learn how to clear up all the static in my mind--whether I was thinking about bills, marital issues, my children or work--and listen to the small voice of God. Since I've been able to do that, His eternal voice has sang innumerable sweet lullabies to ease the concern and, as Handel aptly stated, "drive the dark of doubt away."

Learning how to increase the volume of God's glory to its highest decibel was a process:

1. Leave worrying alone. Most of the time, I was creating pictures in my mind of what I thought would happen, and when I actually had to face the music, my worst fears were NEVER realized. I know I'm not the only one who has said, "Man, I did all that worrying for nothing." It just takes up too much energy. Concern is healthy, but constantly worrying about things you have absolutely no control over can kill you!

2. Check the attitude at the door. It makes no sense to carry around negativity as if it's a hot accessory. On any given day, someone or something will have the propensity to set me off, but it's my choice as to whether or not I carry it around after all is said and done.

3. In the awesome words of my friend Antonio Neal, "LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE." It's an individual choice. In the midst of difficulty, there's no need to be difficult. If you've been hurt, it makes no sense to hurt others. Live, laugh and love the hurt and pain away. If you don't know how, shoot me a message...I'll tell you what the Lord told me.

4. Get physical. Go for a walk, play some basketball, make love to your spouse, but do SOMETHING to get those endorphins moving! You would be amazed at how much negativity will melt away with just a little bit of sweat.

My ears are now open to hear beyond the hustle and bustle of daily living. I hear the eternal because I've learned to create within my soul a silence that is ever open to the guidance of the Lord.

How have YOU learned to silence yourself?

Silence

2009-07-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

"Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom." ~ Francis Bacon

It's no secret that the Lord has blessed me with a gift for words and intellect. I find it terribly ironic that the very gift I was given has had the tendency to get me in the most trouble. For those of you wondering what your God given gifts are, trouble is definitely a sign! If you or others have misused or abused what is rightfully supposed to be submitted to the Lord, drama is bound to follow!

I've learned that there are those with impure motives will attempt to pimp my gifts for their own benefit. I've also learned that there are those who have truly deluded themselves into thinking that imitation is the highest form of flattery, and will try to copy my gift as opposed to developing their own God given talents (check the record in Romans 11:29...everybody has their own).

Here's the bottom line for me: when it comes to cultivating the gifts I've been blessed with, I refuse to pimp the One Who gave them to me (Jesus) in order to impress anyone else. If my words push you closer to Christ, or motivate you to be who He called you to be, then GREAT. However, I would rather someone cut my tongue out, amputate my hands and fingers, and give me a lobotomy than misuse what I've been given to impress another person.

I don't waste words anymore. Even fools could be misconstrued as wise if they just keep their mouths shut; but my mama didn't raise a fool. I've learned that in order for my words to go out with force and verve, I have to set the stage for them in the quiet solitude of silence.

What about you? How have your gifts gotten you in trouble in the past? Are you trying to impress others, or are you using your gifts for God's glory? Tell me about it!

I'll Drink to That!

2009-06-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

Woman 1: Is the glass always half full for you?

Woman 2: Naw, the glass is never half full! I be thirsty, and I'm drinking until it's empty because I need my refill!

~ Tiffani Jones and Harriet Hairston

Right now, I'm in a desert season where it seems like everything is dried up. During this time, I've found that optimism is overrated. It can only take me but so far. If my optimism is maintained, that's great. What's the motivation behind it, though? Is it simply a cliche or mirage for me to show others that I've got it all together? Who am I trying to impress?

Optimism dried up like a river during drought when my current circumstances didn't break like I was hoping they would. I had done EVERYTHING I was supposed to do, and the situation still didn't work in my favor! Optimism can't help something like that. The glass being half full is not helpful if I'm thirsty and need a drink. There has to be something more than my own attitude for me to lean upon.

I've found that Jesus is my Rock in situations where attitude is not enough. These days, optimism is NEVER enough for me! Jesus is the only one I can look to in order to maintain my sanity and well being. He sees my half full/half empty cup and tells me to take a drink so I won't be thirsty anymore. When I'm parched, a half full/half empty cup ain't gonna do NOTHING but make me mad. Pardon the double negatives, but it just is what it is!

I'm in a dry and barren land, and Jesus has the water that will never run dry for me. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, half full/half empty really doesn't matter, because I'm going to drink until I'm no longer parched. When it comes to leaning on Jesus, I'll drink to that!

Well, CSST (can she say that?)...who or what do YOU lean on when optimism and attitude just aren't enough?

Hatch or Go Bad!

2009-06-29T18:07:00.001-07:00

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” ~ C.S. Lewis

This quote just about speaks for itself, but I want to take some time out to talk about the concept of RISK. It might seem irrelevant, but if you would follow me for a moment, I guarantee we'll get somewhere:

The noun "RISK" denotes the possibility of loss or injury; something or someone that suggests or creates a hazard. The verb "RISK" means to expose to hazard or danger.

When it comes to living a purposeful life, there are inherent risks involved. What if I won't be accepted? What if it doesn't work? What if I fail? These are the kinds of questions that relegate our lives to living an egg existence; always knowing there is an eagle within us, but not willing to push to hatch, spread our wings and FLY.

However, I want to submit a mind altering question: what if the REAL risk is in remaining within the shell of my comfort zone? What if maintaining a semblance of normalcy was NEVER God's purpose and destiny for me?

So in reality, my RISK (possibility of loss or danger; exposure to hazards) is in remaining within the ranks of the status quo, ever imprisoned by a comfort zone that has corrupted and atrophied my mind and emotions!

C.S. Lewis presented two mutually exclusive choices: hatch or go bad. Are YOU willing to take the risk of going bad? I'm not.

Identity Honesty

2009-06-27T10:56:00.001-07:00

"We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." ~ Tad Williams

There are 360 degrees within every individual. As I orbit in, out and around the lives of other individuals, I try my best to do a complete revolution before them. What you see is what you get, whether in public or private. The only part of me that cannot be regularly seen is my candor with my husband or sons. Those areas are reserved specifically for my main men.

I've always been extremely transparent in all my dealings, but I've found throughout the years that many cannot handle the truth of who I am. I actually realized this daunting fact around the age of 7. During that time, instead of running the risk of a person not liking me, I would lie about my identity in order to gain their favor or friendship. I lied because I didn't know if they would still like me if they knew everything about me, good, bad and ugly.

Fast forward to adolescence, and my orbit had totally stalled. I was so afraid of what others might think of me that I put myself on pause. Outwardly, I was popular, athletic, talented and gifted. Everybody loved them some Harriet...except Harriet.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that there's nothing that could be found out about me that would endanger, insult or enrage another person. Yet even if that's the case, rather than lie about who I am through my actions, I'd rather not allow my orbit to roll over to another person's life. If you love or like me, cool. If you can't stand me, cool. If you'd rather not be around me because part of my 360 degrees makes you uncomfortable, cool. If you want to kill me--don't start none, won't be none--but even that's cool.

Just yesterday I was rejected and written off by a young lady who had seen just about every part of my 360 degrees (except the aforementioned areas). She called me socially "weird." Knowing her, I'm sure that moniker was meant to be a sarcastic jab at my character, but for some reason, I took it as the highest compliment a person could give me. If she's reading this, girl, THANK YOU for being my inspiration to maintain my identity in Christ, in marriage, in love and in life. I really mean that from the bottom of my heart, no sarcasm or hard feelings. For real.

I've realized in life that honesty in my identity--even at the risk of being viewed as peculiar (read: weird), even when telling a lie is easier and will reduce conflict, even when there is an inherent risk that I will be rejected and written off--is ALWAYS the best policy.

I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I'm no longer afraid of...

...ME.

You'll Never Know

2009-06-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

"I like a man who grins when he fights." ~ Winston Churchill

Man...my circumstances have made me want to lay my sanity aside and just LOSE it!

...But looking at me, you'll never know.

Man...my money being funny has me tempted to file bankruptcy.

...But looking at me, you'll never know.

Man...all the times my son has been hospitalized makes me feel so helpless. I'm his mama, but all the love, hugs and kisses couldn't medicate his struggle to breathe.

...But looking at me, you'll never know.

Man...I've wanted to make my marriage last till death do us part, and at times, I've been tempted to ask God to let me go to sleep and not wake up.

...But looking at me, you'll never know.

Man...my home is in foreclosure, and I really don't know what the outcome of our loan modification application is going to be.

...But looking at me, you'll never know.

All that to say, I've got REAL, difficult, daunting issues staring me in the face. Somehow, though, the fruit of the Holy Spirit has stepped in and given me peace that passes human understanding. God knows with all I have working AGAINST me right now, I could have been some sad, tragic story on CNN. I'm grateful to God for the ability to maintain my sense of humor through all this. All is not well, but my smile is not gone. I've taken some hits that have made me buckle, but I'm not planning on throwing in the towel.

We have to learn to be unpredictable in our daily fight to maintain our love, joy and peace. I'm crazy enough to take a blow like foreclosure or sickness, and act like such a thing only tickled. Although in reality, I'm not taking any of my issues lightly, outwardly, I'm grinning and still fighting. Between the enemy and I, one of us is going to give up. I plan to outlast all this foolishness and live to fight another day. What about you?

Fight in the Shade

2009-06-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

There are times when I feel like a thousand armies are descending upon me, and that death is knocking at my door. Sometimes I just want to let go and give it all up. But then I think about my sons, my marriage, the ministry I serve in, and all the generations coming behind me. My mindset shifts from giving up, to feeling like if it's a fight my enemy wants, it's a fight he's gonna get!

No matter how dark it gets, as long as there is breath in my body, I'm going to keep fighting the battle. Come hell or high water, I'm not backing up until the negativity breaks! Winston Churchill once said, "I like a man that smiles when he fights." I laugh at the pressure and smile at the blows that think they will knock me to my knees!

How will YOU fight in the shade?

Shut Your Butt Up!

2009-06-22T17:34:00.000-07:00

From the movie 300

The Acadian: We are doomed!
The Captain: Quiet yourself!

If I ever want to hype myself up, I'll sit down and watch the movie 300. There are so many awesome examples of how to wage warfare in that movie, it's just RIDICULOUS.

Yet one scene is often overlooked in the movie. As the Spartans and Acadians are marching towards the Hot Gates, they encounter a village that has been ravaged by the Persian army. The Acadian, in a state of shock, awe and paralyzing fear stated, "We are doomed!" The captain, an adept warrior quite used to scenes like this rebuked him and said, "Quiet yourself!"

There are times when our circumstances knock a pause in us. If we allow the shock and awe of the situation to paralyze us, our knee jerk reaction will automatically be, "We are doomed!"

But I want to challenge myself as well as anyone else reading this article to quiet yourself when difficulties ambush you like thieves in the night. Learn how to be still and know that all will be well if you keep moving. Learn how to fight and press through the circumstance, because it's much more difficult to hit a moving target.

How can a person gain this inner calm? Well, a relationship with God doesn't hurt. I pull out a verse of scripture and play it over and over again in my mind until that scripture becomes my reality, not my current circumstance. Additionally, exercise, a good laugh, a game of scrabble, ANYTHING (legal) is better than allowing the circumstance to paralyze you with fear!

The conversation in 300 was between two different people, but that inner dialog takes place in my mind all the time. In order for me to quiet myself, I have to shut the panicking part of myself up!

How will YOU quiet yourself this week? Have you ever had to shut your butt up and allow the better part of you to take over? Tell me about it!

The Champion's Ship

2009-06-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." ~ Muhammad Ali

There is a body of people that carry themselves like champions, no matter what their circumstances bring their way. They won't quit, back down, let up or shut up until they fulfill their purpose, destiny and dreams. The Champion's Ship is making a stop, and I hope after reading this, you will hop on.

The suffix "-ship" denotes four specific things:

1) A state, condition or quality. If you want to get on the Champion's Ship, you must have a mindset that come hell or high water, you won't forget that you're a champion. I was walking with a friend yesterday, and she looked down on the ground within the dirt and grass and found a quarter. It was beat up, dirty, barely recognizable, but guess what? That bad boy was still worth its full 25 cents! Just because you take a hit doesn't mean you're valued any less.

2) Office, dignity or profession. Whether you're flipping burgers or houses, do it to the best of your ability. Promotion comes to those who carry themselves like they belong in the Champion's Ship no matter what their profession is.

3) Art, skill. The Champion's Ship has reserved seating and season tickets for those who find out what their passion is and work towards making the world a better place because of that passion. Muhammad Ali was a fighter, Jesus is a Savior, I am a writer, my friend is a singer...give your all to that passion, and you will find your name written on a suite in the Champion's Ship.

4) The body of persons participating in a specified activity. The Champion's Ship requires dedication, sacrifice, motivation, enthusiasm, prayer, and a willingness to leave a legacy for generations to come, should the Lord wait a little while longer to return. Peter Daniels, a champ I definitely look up to, said that he wanted his life to change the world for 300 years after he was dead and buried. This man who only had 6 years of formal education, has totally revolutionized the economic system of Australia and its surrounding nations because he believed that he belonged on the Champion's Ship long before his circumstances lined up with that belief.

What about you? Do you belong on the Champion's Ship? What sacrifices are you making now in order to live the rest of your life like a champ? Tell me about it!

Fired Up

2009-06-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

"Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish." ~ Jean de la Fontaine

I can't leap buildings with a single bound, nor can I fly (contrary to R. Kelly's belief), but I have an unwavering belief that with the right purpose firing my soul, I can do the impossible! This is how I was created!

I was created to teach, yet there is an impossibility looming out there that the educational system in the United States is not trying to embrace a university like the one I have had visions and dreams about. A university where students do not come to learn how to formulate a good resume so they can go out and get a good job in corporate America, but a school where a student can learn how to create their own legal system of wealth and thus totally revolutionize the economics of this nation.

I was created to write, yet there is an impossibility looming out there that making my life the open book it has become is not fodder for good reading, and that no one will want to waste time purchasing a book regarding the wisdom I've picked up over the years, whether by God, observation or experience from learning the hard way.

I was created to encourage others, yet there is an impossibility looming out there that if the weight of my current circumstances cannot be effectively carried to the point where they don't have a detrimental effect on my emotions, I won't have the right or ability to tell someone else, "It's gonna be alright."

But I'm fired up! Fired up to teach, to write, to encourage, to LIVE this life according to the blueprint I've been blessed with! The fires that are affecting my circumstances have done nothing but stoke within me the resolve to become and fulfill what I was created for.

Fire has a destructive quality if not controlled properly. It can burn up and consume all kinds of things if not dealt with immediately. But fire also has a purifying quality that must be turned up to its hottest degree to purify valuable elements like gold and silver. I have made up in my mind that the fires of this life will NOT consume me, but will purify my motives, purpose and drive to make the impossible possible. What about you?

No Time to Relax

2009-06-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

"You can lie down and die, or you can get up and fight, but that's it--there's no turning back." ~ Jon English

Picture me in the labor and delivery room. Never mind...that's nasty. But just imagine, if you will, the look on my doctor's face when I told him I was tired and I didn't want to push anymore. His response still echoes in my mind as I recall one of the most painful, yet rewarding experiences of my life. He said, "It's crunch time, Harriet. You can't stop until this baby is delivered!"

If I had stopped pushing, both my son and I would have been at risk for losing our lives. His 9 lb. 9 oz form (and two weeks premature) was depending on me to take his first breath. And as I looked at him for the first time, I took my own first breath as a mother.

Michael Jordan once played a championship basketball game while he suffered with the stomach flu. As he took the final shot of the game, he practically collapsed into the arms of Scottie Pippen, who guided him back to the bench. In one breath, he was flu-stricken. In the next, he was the NBA champ! That game was his labor and delivery room for his fifth championship.

There was a labor and delivery room that still blows my mind when I think about it today. Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, was under so much pressure that he began to suffer hematohidrosis. Under severe emotional duress, the capillaries surrounding his sweat glands burst, causing both blood and sweat to flow through his pores. He knew what was going to happen, but surely He didn't want to endure it. Yet as He took His last breath, He gave birth to the salvation of BILLIONS, including me, some 2000 years after His death. And as He took His next breath, He was seated in His rightful place on the throne of eternity, knowing that the pain He endured would bring life to many in the millennium to come.

I would go through the pain again to birth my son. I'm sure MJ would go through the pain again to get that coveted championship ring. Thank God Jesus went through His pain so I wouldn't have to go through hell here on earth, then deal with it for all eternity. In all three instances, lying down and dying was an option, but fighting through death to get to a more eternal reward required some moxie and a push that cannot be gained in ease, relaxation or quiet.

What are some of your most difficult moments that garnered the best reward? Tell me about them!

Becoming

2009-06-15T14:22:00.000-07:00

"The highest reward for your work is not what you get for it, but what you become by it." ~ John C. Maxwell

We are currently living in the greatest time in history. With technology, the world has become the size of a golf ball, and by the time I hit "publish" on this article, it has the potential to travel around the world within seconds. AMAZING! Yet there is also an unfortunate mindset that has infected many in this era. It is the thought that what a person DOES is more important than who a person IS.

If you read my profile under "About Me," you will find it full of descriptions regarding who I AM (disciple of Christ, mother, daughter, lover, friend, etc.). Towards the bottom is a description of what I do (human resources). What I do definitely puts food on the table, but the reward each day for my work is knowing that I took full advantage of every opportunity to change a life. In so doing, I become more adept in my God given gift to encourage others and lift up my own spirit in the process.

To see a student go from a defeated attitude to one of victory makes my heart soar. To be able to have a discussion with an individual who feels like the jury is out for them on dedicating their lives to God, and actually flip a switch in their mindset to the point where they're willing to approach Him again...my God, there's nothing like it.

Who have you become as a result of your work? Tell me about it!

Transition and Transformation

2009-06-15T11:47:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal: I've had this blog for about 7 months, and had no clue what to do with it. I write for blackandmarriedwithkids.com as well as other family oriented sites. I just seem to have lost focus of my own. So this is what's going to happen from now on:

Zig Ziglar once said, "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." Each day on my Facebook account I use a motivational quote that gets me going for the day. Sometimes it's a Bible verse. Today, it was a quote from Rocky Balboa. But each day, I look for a quote that can give me that extra "umph" in my "try" so my day with be triumphant.

I will do the same in this blog, except instead of just posting the quote, I'll tell you a little bit of why it touched me in my own unique way. I look forward to taking this journey with you! God bless!

Can She Say That?

2008-12-13T16:31:00.000-08:00

I'm a married woman, and my husband and I vowed we would remain so until death do us part....even if we have to kill one another.

Can she SAY that?

I'm a Christian woman, saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost, called to ministry, but I can't STAND church folk!

Can she SAY that?

I'm the mother of a three year old little boy who, in one moment, causes me to be overflowing with love and affection, and the next moment makes me want to wring his neck!

Can she SAY that?

I'm an African-American woman who embraces all the grace, laughter, love and uniqueness my ethnicity has to offer, but at times, I hang my head in shame at "my people."

Can she SAY that?

I'm a person with a voice that needs to be heard, whether you choose to listen or not. This is who I am, and I'll say whatever the Lord places on my heart to say without fear or hesitation.