Paradise

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves--regret for the past and fear of the future." Fulton Oursler

I am a believer in Jesus Christ. He called me to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Him. Somewhere along the way, though, I realized that following Him would lead straight to Golgotha. Following Him not only meant sharing in all His glory and strength, but also sharing in His suffering. That cross He told me to take up would cause me to follow Him all the way to my own crucifixion!

So here I hang...being ridiculed by the very people I helped in the past; being spit at and having my identity challenged by individuals who never truly knew the REAL me. All some wanted were the fish and loaves, but this cross was designed to kill within me the need to impress others with my prowess.

I look to my left, and there hangs the past, spitting and hurling insults at me. Throwing in my face every mistake, regret, sin and sorrow I ever encountered. I look to my right, and there hangs my future...it ain't looking good for the home team.

There's nothing I can do about the past, but the future looks at me and begins to tell me who I am. I'm no better than either of them, but for some reason, the future begins to tell me how much she believes in me. She tells me, through gasps of excruciating pain, that I HAVE trusted the Lord, and the desires He planted within my heart WILL come to pass!

"But I'm hanging here DYING!" I say to the future.

"Shut up and put us out of our misery," shouts my past through bitter agony and shameful defeat.

"Whether we live or die, girl, don't forget who you are!" shouts the future with all her might and all the energy she has left to spare.

I begin to understand that this cross, this crucifixion is not designed to put an end to me. Only the past is hanging up to die without ever coming back. But I see now that this cross was designed to introduce me to my future.

So I'm looking at her, and in spite of the blood, sweat and tears, in spite of the ridicule and misunderstandings, in spite of the betrayal, she looks BRIGHT! And I now know I'm not forsaken.

I'm about to die...it's all part of the divine plan. The past successes, failures, heartbreaks and mistakes cannot come with me on this trip. But I'm about to breathe my last before breaking forth into a new dawn and a new day.

The most profound last words utter from my lips, as I put death on pause to communicate with my future:

"TODAY, you shall be with me in paradise!"

The Choice is Yours

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." ~ Wayne Dyer

So...it's been a while since I wrote in this space. There is so much transition going on in my life, and I'm just riding the wave. I can't do anything else, because it's all out of my control. I've done all I can do, and now the end results are in the hands of the Lord.

Here's the deal, though. I'm not cowered in some corner, begging life to stop making the room spin. No matter how much my equilibrium is being disturbed, I know once the dust settles, I'll be right where I need to be, not staggering, but STANDING.

I'm excited about what the NEAR future holds for me. I choose to remain motivated! What about you?

The Seed

"Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity." ~ Og Mandino

These are challenging times for everyone; the Earth itself seems like it is in the labor and delivery room enduring contractions like never before. No one is immune from the pain. From people in Iran dying on the streets for the basic freedoms people in the United States enjoy daily to the stain of racism turning away over 60 innocent children at a Philadelphia swimming club, it is so easy to fall for the trap of fatalism and discouragement.

The labor and delivery room is an ugly place...trust me, I know. They make you strip naked and then replace your comfortable clothing with half a nightgown that leaves a terrible draft on your hindparts. Some doctors require you to get an enema so when you start pushing, nothing but blood and the baby gets on them. They strap you to a monitor to measure the contractions (as if they couldn't tell the baby was knocking a pause in your ability to breathe). There is absolutely NO privacy...the doctor pokes and prods in the most secret places to ensure the baby is in the proper position to be birthed. You are not allowed to eat or drink anything, no matter how hungry and thirsty you are. Your only vestige of comfort is the bed the doctors have you on. Unfortunately, even that betrays you as it transforms into a torture device that pushes your legs straight up in the air and folds you in half to make gravity do its job. I could go on and on. It can be a nightmare!

I said all that to talk about the seed within that time of adversity. It is a seed that develops within a womb upside down and inside out. It is a seed of hope; a seed of triumph! The seed that introduces us to an entirely new future is about to burst forth in our lives! The moment we look that seed in the eye, the focus we once had upon the pain dissipates. Even as our feelings, plans, relationships and circumstances are being sewn back together in recovery, nothing else matters but pouring our love, resources, guidance and energy into that seed that is now living and breathing.

I challenge myself and all those reading to shift focus from the immense pain to the incomparable future that awaits us once all is said and done. Even as an acorn falls from a great oak tree and dies to its small form, it fails to realize that one day, if it focuses in the right direction, a forest will come forth as a result.

There are FORESTS within each of us! I choose to look through the pain to see the future within it. What about you?