"It's a trip when people who think outside the box are stuck in a different box." ~ Camara Fontenot
"Am I growing in God or am I fooling myself?" ~ Christina Robinson
Lately, I've been thinking about how I've never fit into any type of niche. When I was in high school, I was always the one who didn't quite fit in all the way. It didn't matter if I was playing a sport or debating a point, I have always been DIFFERENT.
Years ago, I tried to make up for this fact by trying my best to fit in. If my basketball team was rough, I was rough. If my debate team was polite, I was polite. If my ROTC unit was precise, I was precise. Lucky for me, most of my influences growing up were positive ones. I won't talk about how some of my friends like to curse...so I learned how to curse like a sailor.
There came a time when trying to fit in no longer worked for me. I became a rebel to any kind of set order. I refused to fit within anyone's perception of who they thought I should be, which was a good thing. Yet on the negative side, I became difficult to work with and pretty intolerable because if things weren't done my way, then it was the highway. PERIOD. In thinking outside the boxes set up for me, I became imprisoned in my own box of trying to prove myself.
The pendulum life for me swung violently between two extremes, making me very imbalanced. There is an inherent danger in making what you do the center of your universe; the danger grows exponentially when you make YOURSELF the center of your own universe. That's a responsibility that only God has the cajones to shoulder.
Now that I'm a little wiser, I've learned that boxes are overrated. I weigh myself against the standard of Christ. He's higher, stronger, wiser, more compassionate and loving than I'll ever be, but He always gives me the desire to strive to become just like Him. Now I am who I am, not because of someone else's definition or my own pride, but by the grace and power He invested in me.
I love the fact that He's a wise investor. He won't deposit something without expecting an increase later. My mind is wrapped up in becoming who He created me to be.
...and He doesn't believe in boxes.
